Be In Your Company

.

This is my sister Balqis. She told me that she is going to miss me so much. On the 8th January she will be staying in her school. She said that she will stay in the hostel and very seldom she will return home except for school holidays. She asked me to come and visit her every weekend. But mom cannot promise her because dad will be outstationed for a long period. The only promise mom can mentioned was to visit every month or forthnightly.
This is my second sister Shamim. When Balqis leaves, I want her to be next to me every time. I want her to read a book next to my bed side before I go to sleep. Mom said that she is very independent. She will take care all of her belongings briliantly and very discipline. Mom always told me to be like her. But I'm a boy and would rather be like brother Ikhlas. I want to be a boy not a girl. Mom told me the right attitude and discipline will determine my rightous path either you are a girl or a boy.

Is Eight Is Enough

It was a Chrismas day. Mom said that grand ma and aunties will come from Kedah. Since it was a public holiday, dad said that it is better to take the picture of the entire family. I remembered that morning dad was screaming to everybody to get ready for a photography session. Dad always said ... "Everybody please listen to me before I change into a monster". Sister Syahadah is very naughty to adopt what ever dad said whenever everybody was reluctant to move.

.

I was not feeling comfortable when sister Balqis was holding me. It was not similar the way mom was holding me. I was hoping that the photography session will end quickly. Dad was particular about this event and ask everybody to put on their best hari raya dress. And mom told me that I was the most charming person in the photo. Thank you mom........and you are the best mom on earth!!!!

Meeting A Doctor

.

On the 21st December, Mom brought me to see a doctor. It was because of my ring worm that stuck to my cheek. The ring worm grew larger and larger. Mom quite worry about it and wanted it to dissappear immediately. Mom ask my cousin, Zulaikha to drive because Mom is still weak to handle the car. This will be my third times meeting a doctor. My second experience meeting the doctor was not that good. It was a painful meeting whereby he cut my 'dick'. Hhhhmmmm.........I hope this is something different.

.

The doctor was an old lady. Mom said that she was a nice Indian lady. She was suprised when she looked at me. She said that breast feeding baby must be strong and should not get infected by ring worm. I was staring at her when she talked to my Mom. She advised Mom to keep away Rina from me as directed by my Dad. It was a very quick visit. She gave Mom a cream to apply to my cheek twice a day and within three days the ring worm will disappear.

.

Dad came back early from office today. He took me to the garden and asked Mom to have few photos with me. I was not in a good mood to be photographed. I was fall asleep but Dad keeps on pushing me to wake me up. Finally Dad asked Mom to hold me near the palm tree to have a nice shot. I was happy being in the garden to have some fresh air and a bright sun light. Now I noticed that the world is not just the four corners of walls but instead the world is big enough for me to roam freely.........

My 20th Day

Today is my 20th day. Mom said that I can grap her index finger but I still feel that I am very small when I compare to it. Mom keeps on telling me that day by day I am gradually growing up and I am going to be a good boy. Sometimes, I like to tell Mom and Dad everything that is in my mind. I know that it is impossible for me to expose all my thoughts and for them to comprehend. I did few gestures to them to indicate my sign language and to demand their attention. My common gestures that they noticed was crying. Hhhhmmmm....sure they knew that I was hungry or I need to be changed. But others they only guessing. Anyway Mom and Dad also improving their skills regarding to my gestures. Not only me need to learn but Mom and Dad also need to learn about myself.

.

For the past few days I felt something itchy to my left cheek. I try to scratch with my fingers but it wouldnt work. I was crying and would like to tell Mom that, ' Hey please look at my cheek. Something bad is happening to me'. I saw Dad enter the room and ask mom to pass me to him. As usual, first Dad will kiss to my lips and cheeks. Then he will kiss to my fore head. Suddenly Dad observed that there was a ring-worm as big as a five cents coin stuck to my cheek. 'Ooooo.....we need to see a doctor immediately', Dad said.

.

I heard that Mom asked bro Hadi to keep Rina in the cage and outside of the house. Mom asked my sisters to vaccum the house as well. This ring worm must be something to do with Rina. I just wondered, Rina never came near to me and how could I got infected by this desease? Mom told me that this was due to the transmission from the kisses of my sisters and brothers. From that day onwards, Mom prevented my sibling from kissing me unless they are really clean. Hehehehe...such a relief .........and now I really can sleep peacefully...

Precious Moments

.

I'm chubby now. That what Mom told to me. Whenever I was feeling hungry, I will cry for milk. Mom will pick me up and hold me close to her breast and placed her nipple to my mouth. That was an exciting moment. I feel so close to my Mom. I feel that Mom loves me so much and I feel secured. After I finished Mom will 'burp' me for a while. Mom said to safe me from excessive vomit.
Dad will come to me when he returned from work and early in the morning before he went to his office. He will hold me close, pinching my nose and stroking my rosy cheek. He will kiss my fore head and cheek numerous times until I cry than he will hand over to Mom to stop my crying. I can sense the smell of Dad whenever he hold me. Now gradully I can recognise who is holding me. I can feel that those individual people possessing different scents and smells.

.
Every morning, my sisters and brothers will come near me to give me a hug and kisses. They will surround me for a while and making so much noise. I told Mom that sometimes I could not sleep with their present. What I will do is to cry in order to get attention from Mom and Dad. Let Mom and Dad shun my brothers and sisters away from me for a time being. But Mom told me that they are not coming to disturb or harm me. Mom said that they came here to develop the love and effection between me and the family.

My 15th Day

Time flies so fast and now I'm 15th day old. Dad told me that today will be a photographic day. Dad put me on the bed and disallowed my sisters and brothers to interfere. Dad said that he wanted the best shot for my photos. I was so happy and Mom dressed me up nicely with a blue romper with a nice lace at the neck. Mom told me that this romper, Dad bought it at the car boot sale 16 years ago. During that time Dad was doing his Master Degree and Bro Ubai was born in Bradford, United Kingdom. I don't know where it is but I can imagine that this place must be very far away from where I'm leaving know. I will ask Bro Ubai to tell me when I manage to talk.
I also noticed that many Mom's friends came to visit me. They started to compare my face to my sisters and brothers. Dad and Mom said that I'm more resemblance to Bro Ubai, but some other people said that I'm more to Bro Ikhlas. It doesn't matter to me. I saw they gave to Mom some money and they said that all the money is for me. Wow.......I hope many more people to visit me coz I can have it to buy toys...and to give Dad to buy my pampers. Yeah.. I wish I can help Dad to save his money.

.

Now I'm a hero. My 'dick' is completely healed from previous circumcision. Dad told Mom to keep the pastic ring that was used for the circumcision so that he can show to me when I grow up. Now I feel more comfortable when Mom pun the pamper on me. I dont feel the iciness anymore. But I was upset too. Bro Ubai and Bro Wan made fun of me. They took the plastic ring and teast Sis Adah and Bro Ikhlas. They said it was so smelly...Hmmmmm . Mom was upset too with their misbehaving character. Mom consoled me and informed me that this is the spice of life. There are bad and good moments that I will face when I grow up and that will lead me to be a strong man.

Being At Home For The First Time

.
On the way home from the hospital, I keep on imagining what kind of house my Dad have. Thousand of questions circulating in my mind. What type of the house? What is the colour? How many rooms? Will I have my own room or sharing with my brothers or sisters? Will I be happy to be there? Where is the house located? And many more questions that make me puzzled. I was staring at Mom who was sitting at the back. Dad was driving and enjoying his music. Hhhmmmm...... I was asking myself am I demanding. Why not I expect the worst out of it. It might reduce my worries. Mom was so relax after gone through the delivery process and from time to time Mom stroking my rosy cheek. I know she cares and loves me very much.

.

The travelling quite a distance. I can feel it. I heard Dad honking and there were few people coming to open the gate. I heard the jovial mood and laughter of the children outside approaching the car. Wow...who are they? Are they my sisters and brothers. Dad stopped his car and pulled the hand break then he opened the doors. I heard those people outside were curious asking permission from my Mom to hold me and to kiss me. I was bit scared. Still, Mom protecting me from these trespassers.

.
Wow....the house is yellow and the interior were quite nice that I ever imagine. Those people, probably my siblings were chasing me from behind with giggling faces. Now I am getting interested and excited to know them. There was an old lady coming towards me and asking Mom to release me to her while Mom was adjusting herself on the bed. I think that must be my grand mom. OOOoooooo....another old man coming towards me as well and grand mom told me that he is my grand dad. Is this the entire family??? Dad said no..no...... many more to come to visit me after Aidil Adha. Wow...must be a great family.

.

Mom wrapped me with a pink cloth. I hate it because people said that pink is for a girl and I'm a boy. Blue suit for a boy. I should complaint this to my Dad because man can only understand my feeling. I think we can understand each other better.

.

Finally Mom introduced me to all of my brothers and sisters. One after another kiss me all over my face. Yiakkkkk........ go away from me. I am yet to recognise their faces and names but immediately Mom mentioned their names being the first one bro Ubai, bro Wan, sis Kiss, bro Hadi, sis Mim, bro Lash and last but not the least sis Adah. Wow....so many. How to remember their name and faces. Anyway Mom said that it takes time for me to remember them. The precious words from Mom was ' Yusuff this is you home and you will be grown up in this wonderful home'.

My Second Day, 4th December 2007

.

Mom told me that we can go home. A doctor said so this morning after routine checkup. I was given few japs to my arm and it was so painful. Why they need to do this to me? Is this the first terrible thing I'm going to experience? And I wonder why Mom did not protect me?? Is she cruel. I bet that, definitely when I grow up I demand an answer from her.

.

Sometimes I look to Mom and would like to ask her where is Dad. I didn't see him since yesterday afternoon. but Mom can sense what was in my mind. Mom told me that Dad will come later. He was too busy to prepare some food for my brothers and sisters. He needs to tidy up the house, water the plant, wash the cloths and many more. Wow...sure Dad is a busy man. Who the hell my sisters and brothers? How many are they in my family. This make me feel so ancious to know more about them.

.

Suddenly I heard the phone was ringing. I heard Mom was talking to Dad about c.i.r.c.u.m.c.i.s.i.o.n. That was the first scientific word I ever heard. What the hell is this?? Is this another night mare that I need to go again?? Oh God...please help me. Honestly I don't really know what it is but for sure I can feel something painful is going to happen.

.

A doctor took few minutes to cut my 'dick'. Wow........... I'm a boy......My Mom never told me that I'm a boy... I was crying profusely and trying to kick the doctor for not getting any permission to circumcise me. Anyway Mom told me that once in a life time I got to experience this. It is better to have it now rather than later coz I will be so shy to face 'Tok Mudin'. All your brother did it when they were small and this is the way to be a hero.

.

Dad came few hours later to pick me and Mom home. I was so excited to be at home playing with my brothers and sisters. What I'm going to expect then?????

My First Journey
.
I'm quite ignorant living in this world within this short period, but Dad always convince me that I will be guided and moulded. I'm not so sure what those were meant. Dad said that, the 3rd Dec was my special day. People called it 'Birthday' . During that time I was in the labour room. Dad mentioned that he was waiting patiently for Mom to deliver me. I don't really remember who was in the room but I did realise that suddenly I appeared in the bright room with few monsters around me...... Oooppsss.....Dad corrected me. They were not monsters but midwives and doctor removing me from a balloon.
.
Few minutes later I felt the chill of water splashing all over my body। I was crying asking somebody to help. Finally they wrapped my body with cotton cloth to keep me warm. Then they push me in the tray and hand over to my Dad, I believed. Suddenly I heard a nice soothing voice of the azan telling me something that I cannot describe। I can feel that my heart was beating fast and my hair started to erect stiffly. Something strange surrounding my body.

.
I was so hungry during that time. All I wanted to do was to suck my thump......
Finally I can feel the tenderness of my mom wrapping and hugging me in her arms. Yeah....now she directed me to her teat for my first lunch on earth where people called it ' Breast feeding'. I felt relieved, secured and many thousand words which were difficult for me to describe. Now I started to sense the feeling being a child of a great man and woman called Dad and Mom.