I dont really feel comfortable since Dad left. I was crying all the time. I was sleepless during day and night. I wish I could tell Mom what is the problem. Mom always thought that I was crying because I was feeling hungry and warm. She put my mouth to her nipple but the discomfort feeling never subside. She stripped my clothers but I was still crying. The thing is that I was feeling so painful between my abdoment and groin. I dont know what it was but everytime when I try to move I can feel the pain. I pity Mom. Whenever I cry, she will also cry. My sleepless night will be her sleepless night too
The next day Mom discover that there was a hard lump near my groin. The lump will grow bigger whenever I cry and this make Mom little bit nervous and panic. Grandma told Mom that possibly it was a 'hernia' and grandma continue saying that operation might be neccesary. I was scared. This must be something to do with seeing a doctor again. I already experience lot, please not again. For sure this must be dealing with needle again. Perhaps this is my closest assumption.
That night I heard Mom was talking to Dad. Dad already in Turkmenistan. Mom told Dad what had happened to me. They were discussing something going to the clinic tomorrow morning. I only managed to hear their conversation from a distance.
That morning Mom brought me to meet Dr. Khatijah. She stripped me naked and inspect my abdoment and groin and comfirmed that it was a hernia. She told Mom to take me to the hospital immediately for an operation. My heart was beating so fast. I can see Mom's face with a weird expression. I know Mom was worry about me and definately Dad will be worry about me too.
Sometimes, I feel that this world is unfair. This world is cruel. This world is full of probability and possibility. You can never expect what is the going to happen. Mom said that perhaps this is the first test that I am facing. If I remain strong and brave I will clear this test and the next test will be easier for me to handle.