Today Is My Birthday

This morning Mom brought me and Hadi to town. I thought Mom will go to Bintang or Giant for groceries. Instead, Mom drove straight to a cake shop. At front of the shop was written 'Secret Recipe'. I saw so many varieties of cakes and made my mouth watering. It must be very delicious and I would like to taste all of them. Mom told me that today is a very special day. I was not sure to whom that special day was meant to. Hadi hold me tight, afraid that I might destroy the cakes that were displayed. I saw Mom selected the biggest and the most beautiful one and on top of it was written ' Happy Birthday Yusuff'. I still cannot understand what is the special occasion and why my name was written on top of the cake. I saw Mom trust a huge notes to the girl behind the counter. It must be very expensive.
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Then Mom stop again at another shop to buy some balloons. I like balloon very much and I admire its wonderful colors. Brother Ikhlas used to blow a balloon for me and I will punch it up to the sky. Mom said, tonight everybody will blow all the balloons and to be hanged from the ceiling and wall. I still wondering why everybody seems to be happy to celebrate the day with cake and balloons.
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Finally I asked Mom what was all about. Mom told me that I am growing older by a year now and today is my 2nd birthday. Mom kissed me and wish me all the best and to be a very obedient and wonderful son. Lastly Mom convey a message from Dad wishing me a wonderful and prosperous happy birthday.

I Hurt My Index Finger
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Everyday when I woke up in the morning, I will find Adah. I like and adore her very much. Brother Ikhlas likes to tease me very much, that is why I dislike him. Sometimes I will roam around my brother's and sister's rooms try to find something interesting. I would snatch their belongings and run quickly down stairs and hide behind Mom for protection if they try to catch me. It was so great for being naughty for a while. After all, I would recognize that Mom would never punish me instead of my sisters and brothers. Being the youngest in the family is an additional advantage that I have.
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Last few days, they refused to let me be in their rooms. I was crying and trying to push the door to let me in. I felt I was big enough like a monster to push the door with my whole strength and energy. While I was trying to push in and the others were trying to prevent me from entering, inadvertently, I could feel my index finger was feeling numb. In seconds, I saw blood rushing profusely from my index finger and dripping to the floor, as red as tomato sauce. I was scared and started to feel a terrible pain. I screamed and turned myself into hysteria. I could never think of anything accept trying to find Mom. Everybody was panicking to witness the tragedy.

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Mom immediately rushing upstairs to find out what was happening to me. Mom got hold of me and checked my finger and noticed that my nail was peeled off. I never stopped crying and hoping the pain will cease instantly. I keep on showing my finger to Mom and hoping that she will do some mantra for miracle to happen. Instead, Mom took me to the kitchen and start washing my finger and bandage it with a cloth. The whole day I was lying beside Mom and can feel that my finger started to swollen. Then everybody came down and surrounded me and sympathized to what had happened to me and asked for forgiveness.
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Mom said, I am still too small to act as a big boy. I need to learn how to walk before I can learn how to run.

It Was Over A Year

It was over a year that Dad had not penned down in my blog. I keep on waiting for Dad to narrate my story and progress. I asked Mom why my blog stagnant for sometimes with no updates. Mom told me that Dad was terribly busy with his job. I try to comprehend the way Dad handled his life but I was wondering why Dad keep on updating his own blog? Hhhmmmm...... I didn't blame Dad for that but I wish Dad will make his best endeavor to make my journey very meaningful.
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Every time when Dad phoned Mom, Dad will ask Mom to put the hand phone to my ear. I can hear what Dad said but I just could not reply. Now, I started to learn few words from my sisters and brothers. Mom said that my vocabulary is improving even the syllables are not perfect. This is the way we learn things when we grow up, said Mom. I tend to appreciate my life more now since I have learned many things as I progress.

I Miss You So Much

One day, I was asking mom where is Dad. Mom replied that Dad was away from home. Dad got to work and finish his job. I cannot fathom what is meant by 'work and job'. Why need to go far away for a job or to work. I feel perplexed for quite sometimes trying to understand the explanation from Mom. Mom told me that I could never understand what does that mean because I was too young to deal with adult's activities. Mom continued that, job or work is the activity that when people did it, they will get paid with money. With that money Mom will by me new clothes. With that money Mom will get me a ride on Panda. I try to comprehend every description but it was hard.... Mom reminded me that when I am big enough, I would also go to work.
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Everyday, I will play with sister Adah. She will case me first and I will run down stairs and jump into a sofa. Then I will case her in retaliation and will cry if I could not catch her. Mom will scold Adah if I started to cry. Sometimes I were left alone if everybody went to school. I was hoping that Dad will be around so that I could play hide and seek with him. I miss Dad so much. I seldom see him. When Dad arrived home abruptly, I was so shy to introduce myself. I used to hide behind Mom. One thing I know for sure was, Dad will grasp and hold me tightly and lifted me from the floor and kiss me roughly. I can feel Dad's beard pocking to my cheek and I despise it.

January 21st, 2008

January 21st, 2008 was my memorable date. I will never forget this date for the rest of my life. I dont know how to describe this date, whether it was really a significant and brutal date to remember. Anyway, for sure it really added some spices to my life so that I would be ready for the next day for what ever happen. I believed what Mom said to me earlier that the tests and hurdles that I was going through will break the jinx and will make me stronger.

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Dad took a leave after came back from his journey. I noticed that he was still tired and caught a flu from a bad cold winter. I pity him. He pity me too with my condition so in other words we were pity each other. Dad told Mom to get ready by 11.45 a.m and to let me fast by 11.00 a.m. I was still strugling with the pain and grandma just put me in her arms and comforting me. I saw Dad was busy at his computer and Mom was preparing food for bro Ikhlas and sis Adah after returned from kindergarten. From time to time I continued my crying irritatingly and at the same time I just wondered how the operation will feel like. I was really scared to death. Only god knows how I felt.

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Mom packed her clothes too since she will accompany me at the hospital. A doctor told Mom at least a day to stay during last visit. When we arrived at the registration counter and finalised the payment, we were brought into the pediatric ward. It was quiet and there were two other patients sharing with me. I was feeling so hungry. My stomach started pressing and twisting hard for food. All I managed to do was crying continously.

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Dr Zul visited me about 2.30 pm. I heard he was explaining to Dad what will be the operation like and it will be a quick operation. The Doctor told that he needed to close the holes between my abdoment and the groin at the right and left. About one and a half inches long for each side. I saw Dad was focusing his mind to the doctor and fowarded few questions for clarity. Eventhough I was not fully understood but I swear that it was going to be another terrible thing to happen. Now I realised that within two months I visited the doctors more than five times.

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I was sad when Mom surrendered me to a nurse. I was crying asking her not to leave me. But what could I say? I was helpless and hungry. The last words I heard Mom said was be a brave boy and get well soon. Mom and Dad are dear to me. They were always beside me when I was facing any problem. Their words miraclously adding some strengh for me to endure the painful moment.

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I dont really know what did the doctor do to me. I only realised that I was handed over to my parents a moment later. Everything seemed to be fine. I saw Dad was patiently waiting for me and give me some kisses. "Everything is going to be fine". That what Dad said to me.

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Dad said that life is a journey. We are the one who will destine our journey. Either we will end up in the perfect destination or slip along the way. It depends on how we are going to handle it through our wisdom and knowledge. My life just started. And I learned that life is not that easy to handle. And I wish that the I could avoid anything bumpy and slippery so as to reach my perfect destination.

My Sleepless Night

I dont really feel comfortable since Dad left. I was crying all the time. I was sleepless during day and night. I wish I could tell Mom what is the problem. Mom always thought that I was crying because I was feeling hungry and warm. She put my mouth to her nipple but the discomfort feeling never subside. She stripped my clothers but I was still crying. The thing is that I was feeling so painful between my abdoment and groin. I dont know what it was but everytime when I try to move I can feel the pain. I pity Mom. Whenever I cry, she will also cry. My sleepless night will be her sleepless night too
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The next day Mom discover that there was a hard lump near my groin. The lump will grow bigger whenever I cry and this make Mom little bit nervous and panic. Grandma told Mom that possibly it was a 'hernia' and grandma continue saying that operation might be neccesary. I was scared. This must be something to do with seeing a doctor again. I already experience lot, please not again. For sure this must be dealing with needle again. Perhaps this is my closest assumption.
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That night I heard Mom was talking to Dad. Dad already in Turkmenistan. Mom told Dad what had happened to me. They were discussing something going to the clinic tomorrow morning. I only managed to hear their conversation from a distance.
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That morning Mom brought me to meet Dr. Khatijah. She stripped me naked and inspect my abdoment and groin and comfirmed that it was a hernia. She told Mom to take me to the hospital immediately for an operation. My heart was beating so fast. I can see Mom's face with a weird expression. I know Mom was worry about me and definately Dad will be worry about me too.

Sometimes, I feel that this world is unfair. This world is cruel. This world is full of probability and possibility. You can never expect what is the going to happen. Mom said that perhaps this is the first test that I am facing. If I remain strong and brave I will clear this test and the next test will be easier for me to handle.

Going On The Jet Plane

Dad told me that he will be away for 10 days. He will be on the jet plane. I can imagine that the places will be far away from me. I will miss Dad so much. I will miss his kisses and and I will miss his hugs as well. Dad said that he is going to have a meeting in Istanbul and Turkmenistan. I already knew Bandar Sungai Buaya but this two places are very alient to me. Dad said if I want to go there, just keep a wish in my heart and that intention will florish when I grow up.

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Mom told me that Dad is going for work and he got to complete his mission. Honestly I dont really know what Dad is doing. But the way I look and feel about it, Dad must be a very busy man. Mom always reminded me that I also can be like Dad flying high in the sky and travel all over the world if I work hard and be a smart boy.

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I saw Dad was packing his clothes into the huge luggage and Mom was assisting Dad to arrange the clothes. The way I looked at it Dad is going to have a very long journey. Dad told Mom that his friend will drive him to the airport. I wish I can send Dad because I also wish to see the airport. Mom told me that the airport is for the jet plane to land and take off. The jet plane can take me up high in the sky like an eagle spread its wings and gliding in the blue sky. It must be a very wonderful journey.

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Suddenly I heard that Dad's friend unable to make it because his maid ran away. Dad got no other choice but to inform Mom to take him to the airport. So Dad asked Bro Ubai, and granma to accompany him so that grandma can take care off me when return from the airport. I cannot remember anything along the journey because Mom told me I was sleeping soundly.

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Sis Kiz already left me but now Dad already flew away. I dont know when will others are going to leave me because one day, I'm going to miss everybody. Mom came to comfort me saying that the life is like a season, always comes and goes. There will be a time when the autumn will replace the summer, the spring will replace the winter, the summer will replace the spring and the winter will replace the summer. But life must go on...........